I read your speech given just before the loss of your third precious little girl. I lost my only child, my son, Michael, when he was 24. It will be 10 years June 12th. Your courage and your faith are inspiring.
Very Helpful sight. Reading the essays and some of the entries have helped. It is a week today that my dog (for all purposes, my baby) died. She died durring surgery. I miss her so much but I know I have to be patient and I will see her again. God is good. Life is unfair.
I have NHL and have kept a journal on my treatment. My heart goes out to you!
My father was killed while he was walking home from the store. A man drove fourty feet on the side walk hit my dad and then tried to stop his car. The man was not charged with anything only given a $75 ticket. I was 12 when this happened. I took it the best out of my mom and brother. My brother Matthew who was 16 was training for the 96 Olymipic Games. Due to the death of my father he never made it there. I want to make everyone aware that the man who killed my father got away with murder. I have taken all of the anger I have for this man and I have started to work with a place called the New Song Center. To help[ children deal with the death of their loved one. I beleive it is important for children to understand that their life is not over, Just different. Katherine
I purchased the Book of Mormon on the internet a week or so ago and looked up your website because I have lost two children. (Both to miscarriage, one too early to tell what it was, one was a boy we named Tanner James). I read through the touching stories about your angel daughters when I realized that this is suck a small world. I grew up in Lancaster Ca. and when I saw the names of Leroy and Daphne Marsh, their faces came flooding to me. My family is the Kassens (maybe you know some of my brothers Richard, David, Brent, Larry, Alan, Brian, Or my sister Christine. My parents were Ralph and Geniel: Dad passed in 99) I am almost positive that my mother is still in your parents ward. I send you my love and hope all goes well with your little girls that are living. I have 2 boys (1 and 6) and am due on April 25th 01. Good Luck in the Future. Lisa Tolman
I just lost my daughter Elizabeth on July 7,2000. She was 10 1/2. On May 3, 2000, I was told she was diagnosed with a brain tumor,Craniopharyngioma. She lived only 2 short months after this. That news alone was like a bomb dropping on my world. She was in the hospital for the entire month of May, I wanted to do research about her tumor, I wanted support then, you see I am living in Germany, the language barrier was hard and being up in a hospital room too, watching her be poked, prodded and getting sick again the third week in May... Wait, I wanted to yell, I am running as fast as I can...hold on, I wanted someone to tell me about brain tumors...all the questions went around and around in my head...at 4:15 I was given the news and within 30 minutes we were being rushed to the University Clinic in Bonn...Neurosurgery ...emergency surgery ...a shunt was put in to relieve the fluid pressure on the brain...at 6pm I found myself asking the Doctor if they were pediatric specialists...he said they were not, they were Brain Surgeons, this was just the Pediatric division...at from 8 to 9:30 then I saw her, she was so weak from having been so sick...then on May 9, a through the nose (Transphenoidal) operation was performed...80% of the tumor was out... she was home on June 1, but then the second week of June, she got a tick bite-abscess...she had to go to another hospital for minor surgery, she would stay in there for 6 days. I got to take her to 2 circuses the 3rd week in June, the second one was 2 hours long...as I watched her swing her legs (as the lady juggler balanced and rolled a barrel on her feet, as she lay on her back) as she sat on the bleacher...then a 15 minute break would bring us back in to see the tigers!! Mama, she said, I have always wanted to see the Tigers!!! I said ...anything for you my Beauty. and then July 3 came and she would have to go back to the hospital for her through the skull operation would take place on the 5th...the operation would be successful, the tumor had shrunk, had actually gotten smaller, it had infiltrated the optic nerve but the surgeons had been successfully able to separate it...then 30 minutes after the surgery, while with the anesthesiologist, her heart rate slowed and her blood pressure shot up, she slipped into a coma and never came back. I called her my Beauty because she didnt feel so beautiful w- all those IVs and scar from her shunt...but she will always be...I hope I havent written too much... I just want to say, that I too "stumbled " upon your website, and found it a blessing, the journal entries were so touching, I too, am a Christian, and have found that only trust in God has and is bringing me through this. Because of what Christ did at Calvary, I will see my Lizzy again.
My heart goes out to you for your loss. My site is a childrens memorial, and I have seen the grief a family goes through when they have lost a child. I cannot imagine their grief X 3. Your site is an inspiration to all, and I am sure you have helped many families dealing with their own loss. I just finished a rewrite of Twas The Night Before Christmas for childhood disease and the need for better cures. I am hoping to raise more awareness this holiday season. God bless, and my heart goes out to your family. TWas The Night Before Christmas Rewritten For Childhood Disease http://heavenlylightspoetry.homestead.com/christmas.html
I lost my daughter 3 weeks ago. I found your site today, it was such a blessing. I have felt like I might be going crazy. That I should be feeling better, that thoughts of Cali should not be at the front of my mind all the time. I was the one who always pulled the family together during times of crisis. Now I know not to beat myself because I can't function at the level I was before. Thank you . Mona Palmer
Dear Steve and Win, Thank you for sharing the lifes of your children. One cannot imagine the loss of one child, let alone three. Your faith in God must be deep. Our 2-1/2 year old died suddenly 5 months ago and then we moved to Saudi Arabia. I stumbled upon your website to find resources to help us, and what a blessing it was to have found you. Your courage, strength and faith is admirable and I can only hope that we can carry on with our lifes like the two of you have. God Bless
We recently lost our 12 year old daughter Megan Leigh Newstrom. She was dx w/Non-Hodkins Lymphoma Oct. 29,99. She went into remission in Nov. She relapsed in May had a bone-marrow transplant Aug. 21. Her brother was a perfect match. She died of a fungal infection Oct. 9. I have three other children. We're all suffering right now. I just miss her so much. I keep reading books trying to find something to help me. She left behind 6 journals that will be published by a christian book store by spring. How do you cope w/out someone you love so much. Would love to talk w/anyone about grieving. Lori
My heart goes out to you and your family. I am particularly touched by the death of Robin as I lost my daughter Laura in 1986 from hypoplastic left heart syndrome. Not a day goes by that I don't think of her and I have three wonderful healthy sons to fill my life with joy. A friend of mine lost her son to a rare blood disorder when he was six years old. Several years have passed and she is still consumed with grief and can't seem to move on. She is stuck and it is affecting her marriage and her relationship with her other children. She is seeking help in how to finish the grieving process and come out the other side and be happy again. Grief and every situation is so different for each individual that I don't have any answers for her. What enables some to complete the grieving process and others not? I am so glad that I found your website and commend you for sharing your experiences. It is through talking and sharing that we realize and understand that we are all part of the same spiritual world. Bless you and your family.
I just read part of your web paget but i know what you are going through. I myself lost a baby when she was 9months old due to an accidental drowning. I feel Lucky that i was not home or elese i don't know what i would be like now. You can go to Angelfire.com login under Forchasity and the pass word is chasity. Feel free to look at my web page
I stummbled across this site as I was searching the net.I found this to be a great site.I buried my 3 yr old son Oct 18,00.This is the second child that I have buried, they both had a rare heart disease,transposition of the great vessels.It is so hard dealing with my sons loss me and my 3 yr old were so close I am not even sure what to do without him.In addition to burying my children I buried my father in 94 and my brother in 98.
Amazing how God works. I was led to your site by my interest in mediation and how it works, only to discover a most wonderful healing site for grieving parents. I, too, lost a six-year-old son four years ago and now my husband has walked out on me and my daughter. Although mediation isn't going to work (since he won't even come around, much less talk to me), I was just browsing your FAQs. I'm still at a loss to know how he could lose his son and now not want to be with his daughter. You just never know, I guess. Anyway, I am so touched by your site and pray for your continued healing.
I feel for your loss. I to have lost a little girl. She was 15 months old and she was the light of my life. She passed away July 21,00 in a drowning accident. I miss her so much and I know that the lOrd is the only answer. I love you website. Thnk you for sharing it with me.
Our hearts go out to you in the loss of your three precious children. You have a very loving memorial in their memory. Your site will help so many people. We lost a little boy who died unborn on December,24th. 1998.
I really feel sorry for you. I know how you went through your kids death, because I'm seventeen, and I already got three miscaraged. It's been so hard on me, I don't know what to do anymore. Last week I just found out that I was still pregnant, but I could lose this baby once more, but I hope not. Keep up the good work!
I have just finished viewing your site, and my deepest sympathy for you and your family. You have done a wonderful job on your site. Thank you for sharing your story. I just lost my Father 04-13-00 and it's been so hard. I am the baby of the family and was only 22 when he passed away. He had battled lung cancer for almost 10 months. It hurts so much to loose someone so dear. You and your family are in my prayers. God Bless, ~Kim
I have loss a sister,mother,brother in the year 2000. I have experience fear,hoplessness,and I seek answers. I am trying really hard in going on with my life. I pray! Only GOD is going to get me through this pain.
My husband and I experienced the death of our third child 2 months ago. this was an unexpected death. Brennen was only 7 months old, a healthy baby boy so full of life. The day of August 4, 2000 is one I will never forget. He was at the sitter when he chocked on his milk causing a lack of oxygen. Despite great medical care he died August 5, 2000 at 10:00 that night. Jesus is the Saviour of our family, so we know we will see Brennen again. But we still miss him horribly. I admire you for sharing your story with others. I find compfort in your faith and courage. may God continue to give you continue peace. in Christ, Leah Blanchard
Great site! I like it a lot! Jim
Finally, after six years after the loss of my son (still all I can really say), I did some searching on the web for child bereavement and found this amazing site and archives. It's such a comfort in itself to know that I am not alone in my sorrow and emptiness, and that there are others out there everywhere who have endured and survived an even greater loss than I have. I'm learning to stop blaming myself, but I still feel deep down that I have alot to exonerate myself from. I never did intend to abort my pregnancy: I loved my child...my son. Dear David, remember that I'm with you always...and that you will meet me one day- You'll have so much to teach me.
Thank you for your web-site! I lost my son, Jacob Ray Apple, May 10, 2000. He was born April 27, 2000 and died from unsuccessful sergury for congenital heart defects, transposition of the great arteries and aorta coarctation. Your's is the first site I have been able to find on-line for grief support. Compassionate Friends is unaccessable. Their web-site has been moved. Please continue with your journal. It is very helpful for someone suffering a very recent loss of my precious angel. I am a single parent and have a nine year old daughter and twenty year old son I must continue to be strong for. Again, thank you so much for your site. You cannot begin to know how helpful it has been. God bless.
Your journals have inspired me. I lost my twins when I was six months pregnant due to imcompotent cervix. I didnt think anyone could understand my pain and I feel so alone. Your strength after losing three children has made me realized that God is still there and that life does go on.
I lost my 6 yr old suddenly from cerebral hemorrage. She had a condition called holoprosencephaly.She was also diagnosed as central partial diabetes insipidus. I was so close to obtaining more info on her conditions when she suddenly went. It took doctors 2 days to tell me what happend. Online has been a comfort in the days and months since Jocelyn's death. Jocelyn died on May 17th, 2000. One month before her 7th b-day. I miss her so. Thanks for making this possible.
My heart was so touched when I began reading your story. Our 17 year old son -- Mathias -- was killed in a tragic auto accident on March 21, 1993. He was our pride and joy. He proved to be an overcomer. As I was reading your story, all I could think was how hard it would be to lose more than one child. I know the heartbreak I felt losing one child. Then I have been so protective of my older son. Now I am of his three darling children. May God touch you in a mighty healing way. I am in the process of writing a book, and I would like to share your story if this is all right with you. God bless you each and every day. Karen
my son STEPHEN was killed two years ago this tuesday the 19th the man that hit him is still walking around i still get mad because he took my baby he was only 14 you all are so strong how do you deal with the loss
I too feel your pain. I have a 9 year old daughter and was finaly able to talk my husband into another child. We had Bryant on April 18, 2000. Pregnancy was PERFECT. Childbirth was another thing. They had to do an emergency C Section, but it was too late. Bryant did not breath for over 15 mins. When they finally were able to revive him, he had no brain activity. We prayed for a miracle that Easter Sunday as we unhooked all the machines. Our miracle is now in Heaven watching over us all.
I cried when I read your story about your girls what can any one say to both off you. You have three beautiful angles about you always. Ilost my only son Tony october 15TH 1999 he died from a drugs overdose and a part of me died with him. I have just come on the web and find all these storys so helpful because there is alwas some who gets it harder than your self. I visted his grave every day and pray for answers. I will rember you both in my prayers God bless you.
The first word that comes to mind when I read this page is strong, incredibly strong. To loose three children must be, well, no words could possibly describe it. My only hope for you is that you get through the day because sometimes you must feel that a day is an impossible task. I haven't lost a child and hope never to, but just to imagine it is too much. You both are very brave people and wish for you both and your remaining daughter all the best in the world.
I Am So Sorry For Your Loss,But I Deeply Admire Your Strength And Courage...I Lost My Son In Aug.99. He Had Taken A"ShortCut"home that night and was hit by 2 cars.... My Life As I Once Knew It Is Over...But As Best I Can I Go On.. I Found Out That Another Bot Had Died The Same Way * Months Earlier And That Boys Mom And Myself Have Fought the Best We Could To Get A Fence Put Up....NOW No Other Child Will Take a "Shortcut" at that Spot Ever Again.... What You Have Done By Creating Such A Beautiful Site In Your Childrens Name Is So Wonderful. You Are An Inspiration To Many.... I Want To Thank You So Much...And Tell You My Prayers Are With You , I Will light candles for you. Gods Blessings To You Cathy Bowen (Figet321)
I really need some help and maybe you could point me in the right direction.. my friend just lost her 18 month old daughter. she drowned in the bath tub as mom ran to grab other child who ran out side. She is so full of guilt let alone the grief and and she has now left her husband because of the death. He was blaming her and she needs support not blame. She already blames herself enough.. just need to find some help for her she feels 8so alone is there any groups for moms who have have lost their children in this way?? any help would be great!!!
My thoughts & prayers go out to you. I recently suffered the loss of my 38 yr. old son. A daughter died at the age of 10 due to a cancerous brain tumor. Another died at the age of 17 due to a blood clot from a broken leg and my son died as the result of an accident sustained when he returned from a fire (he was a volunteer firefighter). The grieving process has never ended, but we go on. I am fortunate as I had 7 children, but as you know - each child is an individual and leaves an indelible stamp on your heart. Again, thoughts & prayers. Take care, God bless. Toni
I really benefited from reading the archived entries. Thanks for saving them and keeping them available on the web.
Location: Chester, Cheshire England
Date: Thursday, November 30, 2000 at 14:39:02
Daniel Kirwan born on 23rd February 1982 a beautiful much loved and wanted son. Daniel started school at 4years old a prep school in Chester. Daniels blond curls dancing blue eyes adorable looks captivated everyone. His frist Christmas at school he took part in the Christmas Nativity, the class had to many shepheards and not enough angels. A boy had to be asked tobe the angel, the boy asked was Daniel, he was with out doubt the most beautifl angel. The other mothers where the first to acknowledge, I was told he was praettier than the girls. Daniel was loved by all who met him. At 8years old Daniel now a product of Divorce sat the entrance exam to The King's Junior School, The King's School Chester was founded in the 15 hundreds under the reign of Henry V111. The school had a very hard entracne exam only the most able passed Daniel passed. At 11 he was to sit the exam for the King's senior school, he passed with distiction. Daniel's dazzling whit could reduce a class to hepless fits of laughter, Daniel was described as Brillian on targe for Oxford. He excelled in all subject Accepted to play for the school football team cricket team and tennis, again described as a True Sportsman. His artistic gift was commented on also his ability to play any musical instrument, Daniel decided to play the Clarinet. Daniel was also called The Pied Pipera, children followe him, friends could not tell their children when they where coming to visite until the actula day. they had learned that it would be "are we going to see Daniel today" all week. Daniel also cycled and enjoyed long distance running, He was accepted into his local village football team, he proudly signed the contract practising to be a proffessional footballer. His village team was Waveaarton Wanderers, his village team had been in existance for over 80 years. when faced with a plkayer shortaage and the possiblilty of disbanding Danielcycled allaround hie area nd single handedly recruited the much needed players. His beloved Waverton Wanderers was Saved. Daneil supporte Tranmere Rovers Football ateam, he was a ball boy and went to every maatch, He met John Aldridge Pat never and many other players. On Marach 4th 1998 I left my bleoved son aged 18 for two hours, when I returend my child was dead in the back garden, I beleived he was unconsious. Poice paramedics arrived with in minutes, I was told my son was dead. My life was over suicide was my only option, I was to learn just how special Daniel was, His headmaster gave a press conference. Every national news paper Daniel was front page Television and radio. The headlins Special life Cut Shore. Gifted and exceptional young man, The boy who enriched the lives of so many. For love of Daniel, Chestera City was silent and sombre Childrenasked why everyone was so sad, to be told a Special boy had died, Tranmere Rovers usually send one player to a funeral of a supporter, For Love Of Daniel the chairman Frank Corfe the secretary and almost all the entire team attended Chester City sent along a player for Love of Daniel, The Dean of Chester Officiated. His funeral service lsted more than a few hours. The Kings boys lined the entrance to the 14th Century Church holding huge floral tribute in the King's School colours picked out in white roses was GOD BYE DANIEL The boys led Daniels' casket into the church. The Chior sang Loving Shepherd, The boys played Imagine on the clarinets they also conposed his very own piece of music called Release Me. His headmaster spoke his form tutor spoke another teacher spoke and the team Captain of Waverton Wanderes spike. I his mother wrote and delivered my eulogy for my son, This was to be the last thing I was to do for him. Every Mother beilieves her child is special and I was no exception. God Blessed me with Daniel he was mine, on loan for 16 years and they where 16 wonderful yeas with a beautiful son. Daniel was a joy he never caused me a moments anxiety, A golden child, The jewl in the Crown. Ever since this tragedy the out pourings of love sympathy and support have been a comfort to me, confirming my belief that like allmothers who believe their child is special, in Daniel's case this is absolutely true. I say to all Daniel's family and fariends, Sing no Sad songs let him enspire you, let his spirit flow in, let in lighten your hearts and not darken your soul, leta him fire you with more enthusiasm to make more effort in all areas of your lif, let him be a guiding force. Let this be a year of exceptional acheivements at the King's School, for you are all my son's. Face all sorrow standing up right. The future may be dark and veiled from the eyes of mortals, but not so the manner in which we are to meet the future, for to rail at life to rebel against a destiny which has cast its lines in unpleasant places is too no avail, life must be accpted on lifes teerms for as hard as lifes terms are, Life it has been finely said never dictates unrighteousness, unholiness or dishonour. I thank you Daniel for being my golden child I thank you for all the yeas of love and happiness you gave me. I thank God for allowing me the Honour off being Daniel's mother, I must now return him to you with all my love. A trimbute to Daniel by Marcus Bronte A young life ended far to soon For a young man born with silver spoon In his striped blazer he walked tall His favourite game he loved footall The beggar lying at his feet young Daniel gave him cash to eat. Amidst the dark and wintery gloom Daniel studied in his room Yound Daniel he was quite a lad He gave the homeless what he had It is time for Daniel to rest a while The City of Chester has losts its smile The King's School has lost one of the bes God Bless you Daniel in your rest. Danie always gave his money awy to the homeless. A few weeks later City history was made The King's Schoool Played the village school this never happens schools play schools and villagas play villages, The King's-v- Waverton Wanderers. A Football Farwell a Tribute Match for Daniel Kirwan. A one minute silence and the boys played so well, Daniel would have loved to have been in that Match Condolonces from the Bishop the Duke of Westminister, the Chief Constable The Lord Mayeor. Michel Owen autographed Two football shirts for the Daniel Kirwan Bursay fund, the shirts where singed in France prior ot Michael playing for England agains France Pat Nevin plays for Scotland he sent autographed Scholtand shirt he had actually played in Pat Nevin telephoned me fromFrance wher he was the Commentator during the World cup the man was so upste, he said he would never forget him. The donations where coming in Duncan Fegusson Everton Liverpool Sheffield Wednesday Arsel ect Glen Hoddle autographed a England Team sile Pennant the Duke sent in a huge donation. A stable in Norfolk named the newest arrival after Daniel, my special name for him Doddly Pops Daniel insisted it must not be used in front of his friend. I complied with his wishes he wished to donate organs, He did he saved the lives of a 7 year old boy and a 4 year old girl, he resored sight to a 16 year old boy. Daniel left a legacy of Love to meet him was to love hime. I have a form of life, I live only for the day I can be with DAniel. I do not and can not enjoy life with this empty lost lonely feeling. I lost my child and I lost my friends. My telephone never rings I am ostercised I am not included/ I do my best to get by for the love of Daniel
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