Spring into Summer
I still think of Robin from time to time. All my girls are with me in my heart and I miss them terribly.
IIt is the season, after all.
May 10, 2002
It is funny how friends and loved ones keep talking about how happy I seem all the time.
My natural state is pretty happy. I really like my children (Heaven, to me, is my children). I love my wife dearly. I really enjoy my job. Actually, I love my children (as I told Heather, while I like my new car, I love my children) -- and they are starting to understand that they are more important to me than anything else. Though I still like my car and I still really enjoy my job. I just won another case this week.
Passover and Easter both went well. My heart is becoming reconciled again to God. It is hard to deal with the pain, as I get older the pain doesn't leave, but I seem to deal with it better and to adjust.
One thing that really helped me was a lesson I learned when I was nineteen or twenty and serving a mission for my Church. I met people who did not understand the difference between the Spirit and emotional states. While some spiritual experiences have emotional states that go with them, to identify emotional states with the Spirit is to rely upon the effect of a frenzied mind (as one person put it) instead of upon God. Another thing I learned was the difference between religiousness and spirituality. I may be lacking in both, but the one makes little difference in coping, the other is essential. Talk to a nurse about those who rely upon the outer forms versus those who have a spiritual side and the difference in coping.
But with the help of dear friends we made it through both holidays.
I also got to see my Aunt Mary and Uncle Forrest again. It has been awhile. As I told my daughter, when trying to explain them "I adore them." It was great to have them visit us.
Win is getting closer to graduation. That will surely be a good thing. I'm looking forward to her getting out of school.
So, lots of little notes. I owe some people an update.
Nothing earth shaking, nothing really to say, except I am a lot happier and we all are doing much better.
Which is something of itself after all I guess.
June 10, 2002
We took our children to see their cousins and for the 50th wedding anneversary of their maternal grandparents [Wallace 50th Wedding Anniversary]. We saw a lot of cousins, missed our girls, but enjoyed seeing family. It was a lot of work. Win had to draft and memorize that presentation (Wallace 50th Wedding Anniversary) -- all the better as she grabbed the wrong folder and ended up doing it from memory, as well as mcing the entire event. We drove down to Portland to see my brother and found out his best class in his MBA program was Finance. He once said if he could teach Finance, he'd consider teaching, but it didn't look like there was much of a market for finance profs. He is almost five years younger than I am and I'm trying to get him to consider going back for his Ph.D in Business with a Finance concentration.
We also saw Win's brother Ben in Hanford, Washington and the beautifull house he built himself. Ben is an engineer. He enjoys "hands on" work (and is really good at it). That part of the trip was a lot of driving, but very pleasant. It was good to see family.
Then back to Chewelah where the only complaint anyone had was just how much very good food my mother-in-law tried to feed us. She cooks as well as my wife, which is high praise, and always had an extra meal or dish waiting for us. Guess it goes back to when her husband was 6'5" and 130 lbs (when he got back from Korea). She is a marvelously sweet lady and my father-in-law was delightful. We all enjoyed the visit very much and even didn't mind the flights.
We had some layovers in Minnesota. If Rachel didn't need the run I would have probably taken the time to visit with some friends out there. Instead, the first time I ran with Rachel for more than an hour and a half. The second time we just ran between flights.
There were some hard moments on the trip and some rough memories that overcame me for a while, but we are doing so much better and know so much joy now. It is hard to imagine we are the same people we were four or five years ago.
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