May 25, 1999
I've been asked a lot of questions.
How is Heather doing -- great. She misses some great people from Wichita Falls -- especially the Sarciones (who are moving to Colorado next week) -- but has so many good friends. Sometimes you want to be where everyone doesn't know your name.
Win and I are doing well. We are expecting (one last time) for January 1, 2000. She is starting graduate school this fall (with two other pregnant masters candidates under a program director who started the program pregnant). I'm working hard and hoping to make partner some day.
How did Win and I meet (back in 1984)? She was holding a party and some friends of mine insisted that I go. The first thing I noticed was her round house kick. We met in October and were married in January -- would have been married sooner if we could have worked things out. I was twenty-nine and this is the only marriage for either of us. We were married in the LDS Oakland Temple and we still have a picture of it in our bedroom.
Plans? Who knows. Two or so years after a death I finally
start losing weight. Time to start, I promised myself that I would
rehabilitate myself when Heather's school got out and summer started. For
now I'll work and think and see what comes. I've done a little guest
lecturing and guest teaching. I'll do more. Things are just so
July 3, 1999
Robin should have been celebrating her second birthday next week. I work. Even at discounted rates I billed over thirteen thousand dollars last month. But I also had to work Father's Day, every Saturday and last Sunday as well. I made partner (shareholder, elected in June, I get my shares in July), but the firm is still working its way out of its founding debt, which means I make about ----- a ------. Not much for a forty-three year old b.v. rated litigator. I know that things will get better (should double or better by years end), but in the long hot days of summer, facing Robin's birthday and August 31st, it can be really hard.
At least Heather doesn't have people lecturing her about how Mormons and Catholics and Jews are all cultists going to hell or kids teasing her about her sisters or telling her that they won't play with her because she has to have something wrong with her. School kids and teaching assistants can be brutal to children.
Jessica's best friend, L. Prince, had her Bat Mitzvah. It was neat to see her growing up, but it made me miss Jessica so much. And I miss Courtney.
Built a bunk bed for Heather ("some assembly required") -- something she had really wanted. Made a good birthday present to go with the books I bought her (and more on the way, she has discovered Tarzan and Redwall). Heather is such a wonderfully good child.
It could be a lot more difficult. I work with very pleasant people
(they screen new hires for being nice people). I have interesting work.
But there are times, in the long hot days of summer, when it just feels
August 2, 1999
Work continues to improve in profitability. The firm just keeps doing better. Funny, but we've had mini celebrations every month since March. We are having another this Friday.
Was reflecting. I had a time when there was an individual who intercepted a great deal of my mail. One thing he stole was a request that I interview for a job at a university (sent unsolicited to me) -- at a law school I would have really liked to work for, a once in a lifetime dream sort of offer. He went out himself and attempted to get the job for which he was woefully unprepared and ill suited. I found out much later and I suspect that the incident burned a number of bridges for me there (since I failed to respond and then it was represented that I sent this individual in my place with my recommendation). I've never had another offer to interview from them.
The job at the law school that contacted me would have been a dream fulfilled. I had forgotten about it. I found out about it May 24, 1992 and thereafter got pretty distracted with windsurfing and the girls (that summer was heaven) and then with the illnesses and funerals. It was a pivotal place in my life and one of those changes you wonder about -- kind of like the Washington D.C. internship I was offered, but not told about in '79 -- I ended up working as a clerk-typist in a hospital instead of doing a much better paying and better connected D.C. internship, something I had really wanted. I feel as if I'm facing another one of those possibilities in my life, where there is something just over the horizon that I will not realize I have missed until I find out later -- too late to do anything about it. Just one of those feelings that is nagging at the back of my mind, out of nowhere, a hunch or an inspiration or, perhaps, just a memory surfacing strongly after many years.
The feeling is just the same as the other two or three times something like that has happened. So I wonder.
Heather started school. She is such a dear and I am so pleased with her.
We are thinking of names for the new baby. Hope or Rachel or ... One last baby girl. I thought I would never find it hard to come up with a beautiful name for a baby, one with cadence and fit and one that conjured up the child. I'm finding it very hard, or, I guess I should say, we are finding it very hard. I'm sure in the next six months we'll find something better than Baby Girl Marsh <g>.
August 7, 1999
Had a questionnaire from my law school. Filling it out left me very sad. On reflection, I realized that it started with questions about my children and ended with questions that made me reflect on Robin's death in August of '97.
My thoughts about it are at Law School Alumni Questionnaire.
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