A New Year, 2003

January 2003

April 9, 2003:

        I have had difficulty making my latest entry. Win graduated from her CRNA program, and after a couple false steps, has a job she loves with reasonable hours. Generally she works two days a week, which is enough to pay back her school loans and to keep current. I'm so proud of her, she has done so much and is my heart.  She also passed her boards and just got the scores back (in a CRNA program they don't give you class standing and they only tell you if you passed or failed your boards. Getting the actual score is hard to do, but she got a perfect 600 out of 600 so they let her know what her scores were).

        I love my job. I'm not sure I'd do it for free if someone gave me six hundred million dollars (or whatever number it is that would be more money than I could count), and I sure don't want my boss to think so, but I really like my job, my boss and my co-workers.  My parents are visiting as I write (and I took a couple days off of work), and I am really happy in my family.

        I've an almost superstitious fear of writing about life right now. It is as if I write, somehow I will wake up from a dream and find that things really didn't happen the way the last several months have felt. I won't love my in-laws, my parents won't fill me with warm feelings just to look at them, my surviving children won't give me joy, you know the dread that if you name happiness it will flee. I've been happy like this before, and so many dreadful things happened.

        I'm starting my life over in many ways. It is as if I have had a new year and a new beginning. I don't think I am deeply grateful for it, for friends and for family. I'm just not sure what to write for people who visit this site. The last ten years have been so very hard, but we are finally, it seems, beginning to emerge from the other side. If you have had similar trials or troubles, I hope that you emerge into a better life more quickly than we did, and with as much happiness.

        Not much more to say. I felt that I needed to write something, and this is it.


Current projects, thoughts and other things:


May 30, 2004:

        We have been dealing with something difficult -- being happy.  As Win said, there are a lot worse things to deal with.

         Sorry I've not said much, but I really enjoy work, saw a therapist for two visits (rumor was it would help me lose weight, all that happened is that I lost my craving for chocolat.  Given my severe alergy, I figured it was worth the money.  I've been lifting weights, using machines at a fitness club. I've maxed out five of the machines I use, which is a first for me by five machines. Lots of work on the kitchen and getting rid of all the termite damage the house had.  

       Just wanted to let everyone know we were alive and doing so much better.


Journal Entries Index
Robin Journal One
September-October 1997
six.htm
September 1998 to February 1999
ten.htm
August-November 2000
Summer-Christmas
2002
two.htm
November/December 1997
seven.htm
May-August 1999
eleven.htm
January-July 2001
A New Year
2003-2004 Memorial Day
three.htm
December 1997 to March 1998
quest.htm
Alumni Questionnaire
twelve.htm
October-November 2001
Guestbook
Leave me a comment
four.htm
March 1998
eight.htm
August 1999 to February 2000
Thanksgiving
2001
my blog: http://ethesis.blogspot.com/
five.htm
May-August1998
nine.htm
March-July 2000
Spring-Summer
Wallace 50th Anniversary

Guestbook -- Leave a Comment (tos)
[adrr.com (mediation)] [Ethesis] [Surviving Loss] [©1996-2003 Stephen R. Marsh All Rights Reserved] [e-mail]
Link to Books and Music
Link to Nauvoo Forum
Link to FAIR Roundtable