Table of Contents for Guestbook
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volume 1

volume 2

volume 3,

volume 4

volume 5,

volume 6

volume 7

volume8

volume 9 

volume 10

Guestbook--Volume 3
November 1997 to February 2, 1998


Name:LUGENE DUNMYER
Email:.AOL.COM/RDUNMYER
Location: STOYSTOWN, PA USA
Date: Monday, February 2, 1998 at 18:34:32
Comments:
I understand your pain all too well. We lost a beautiful 17 year old son to a car accident June 11, 1994. Jeff fell asleep at the wheel of his car 9 tenths of a mile from our driveway. The pain of that day has been engraved in my heart forever. To have a doctor tell you he's gone, we did all we could is the worst nightmare a parent could ever have. It changed our lives forever. Our daughter has never been the same since her brothers gone. It's a loss that can't be described unless you've been there!!! Faith in God and the hope of being with Jeff sometime soon is all that has gotten me through it. God bless all those who have been down this road. Lugene Dunmyer


Name: SHELLEY LUPTON
Email:920340@ICAN.NET
Location: HUNTSVILLE, ONDate: Sunday, February 1, 1998 at 23:53:26
Comments:
I TOO LOST A CHILD, A BABY GIRL 28 DAYS OLD. ABBY WAS HER NAME, AND SHE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL . I LOST MY DAUGHTER AUGUST 28/90 TO A GENETIC DISORDER CALLED TRISOMY 18 . I HAVE SINCE HAD A BABY BOY (EVAN) I THINK OF ABBY EVERYDAY, AND MISS HER EACH AND EVERY DAY, MORE AND MORE. I FIND MYSELF MORE OVERPROTECTIVE WITH MY SON, AND CAN'T IMAGINE EVER LOSING HIM. BUT I UNDERSTAND, THAT ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN AND NO ONE IS EVER PREPARED. MY HEART GOES OUT TO OTHER BEREAVED PARENTS, AND WE WILL SEE OUR PRECIOUS CHILDREN AGAIN AT THOSE BEAUTIFUL GATES OF HEAVEN...THIS I AM SURE OF. GOD BLESS


Name: Trish
Email:Griff2590@aol.com
MI USA
Date: Sunday, February 1, 1998 at 21:38:32
Comments:
I lost my only child to leukemia 10 months ago today. I applaud you for your sharing your life with others.


Name: Garry Tomlins
Email:garryt@tinet.ie
Location: Cork, Ireland
Date: Friday, January 30, 1998 at 14:25:18
Comments:
We lost our two darling children Catherine and James in a ferry tragedy in 1992. You can live but never forget. Today on reading your page I have the tears of love and loss in my eyes. Advice: Love your spouse and children remaining (in our case their younger brother John), remember the memories, and live one day at a time. God bless you and all families who suffer the loss of a child. Garry


Name: Larry Berg
Email:Lawrence.little@netchannel.net
Location: kissimmee, fl. usa
Date: Friday, January 30, 1998 at 14:19:12
Comments:
I lost my wife about 1 year ago from cancer,she was 29.this expierience without saying has changed mine and my 6 year old sons life ... how do you explain to a 4 year old that his mommy is no longer comming home I 32 and sometimes I do not understand it.the pain sometimes so intense that you would do anything to stop it .This has made me much more sensative to other peoples tradgeys.


Name: alice
Email:apeeples@apex.net
Location: south fulton, tnDate: Thursday, January 22, 1998 at 22:59:51
Comments:
I ALSO LOST A DAUGHTER ON APRIL 7/94 MISSY WAS AN EXCHANGE STUDENT IN ARGENTINA SHE WAS 21 . I HAVE FOUND BEING ABLE TO TALK ABOUT IT HELPS ALOT I AM VERY SOORRY FOR YOU LOSS THANK YOU


Name: alice
Date: Thursday, January 22, 1998 at 22:55:56
Comments:


Name: Mary Lou Reed
Email:ml-reed@metabien.com
Location: Scottsdale, AZ USA
Date: Wednesday, January 21, 1998 at 12:07:48
Comments:
Dear Steve and family, My heart, love and prayers got out to you and your family. My grandson died eight years ago and we still deal with the ramifications of that loss. Your multiple loss is beyond my comprehension. Thank you for a wonderful web site and wonderful writing. I have read almost all of the material you have mentioned and I too, find much of it to be rather poor writing. I am finishing up a manuscript titled Grandparents Cry Twice, as there is virtually nothing written or available regarding grandparents' grief. If you have any thoughts and/or suggestions regarding that topic and are so inclined to share with me, I would very much appreciate it. With considerable effort and help from many, I hope to be able to publish a useful book for the grandparents that grieve. I encourage you to continue to write -- essays and journal entries -- I have found writing to be one of the best methods of easing pain. ML


Name: Charles Marish
Email:STDANIAL@aol.com
Location: Primos, Pa USA
Date: Wednesday, January 21, 1998 at 11:43:56
Comments:
My precious son Danny died at the tender age of 9 from a heart condition. While growning from this painful grieving process, I have learned that in order to heal, you need to use your grief to make something positive that will help others as well as yourself. For those who are suffering and grieving the loss of someone Special, I would like to bring them hope and comfort. I can show you how you can actually see, hold, talk to and be with your Special Person by the means of an extraordinary phenomenon called Lucid Dreaming. Lucid Dreaming is simply the ability to become aware and recognize that you are dreaming while you are dreaming. In the instant that you become aware, your dream will transform into a vivid and tangible event. Your dream will become so real, it's as if you are really there and that it is actually happening. The most exciting characteristic is that you can control every aspect of this dream. Not only do you have total control of your own dream body and the actions of others, but you also have the ability to have anyone whom you desire appear in your dream, and it will be as if you are actually with them again. Lucid Dreaming is a natural ability, many people often do it. Even my oldest son Robert said he can "wake up" in his dream and control the things that happen. There is information and techniques that can teach you how to become Lucid while you dream. But for me, it was difficult and I was unable to have a Lucid Dream for a long time. Finally I did it! I was able to hug and kiss my son again, and it felt as though I was actually with him. For myself and others, unfortunately Lucid Dreaming can be difficult to do. I needed to do something that would make it easier so that I could see my son more often and I have Succeeded! Inspired by the love from GOD, with the desire to see my son again and to help others, I have produced a series of relaxation and visualization tapes that will condition your mind and teach you the techniques for Lucid Dreaming. It will heighten your awareness while it quiets your mind. But what makes my tapes unique is that the main focus is for you to dream of your Special Person and to be happy. I call this project "A Divine Reunion" This endevor to help others who are also grieving is done as a memorial to my son Danny. If you would like to talk or for further information please call 610-626-7270 or the Email is STDANIAL@aol.com Sincerly Charles Marish


Name: Mandy Kicks
Date: Wednesday, January 21, 1998 at 09:30:45
Comments:


Name: Margaret
Email:artsy@kos.net
Ontario Canada
Date: Thursday, January 15, 1998 at 09:50:49
Comments:
Steve, although I can't imagine your profound losses, I am so sorry. Thank you so much for putting your writing on the net, reading your essay makes me feel less alone and not so abnormal in our grief-denying society. I lost my parents exactly 6 months apart about a year ago and I still feel like I am struggling, drowning in grief, obsessed with death at times, and then other times I come up for air and feel ok in that same familiar cycle, over and over again. Thank you so much for your help. My best to you and your wife and daughter.


Name: Pamela Henrickson
Email:aphenrick@juno.com
Location: Jefferson City, MO USA
Date: Tuesday, January 13, 1998 at 17:59:09
Comments:
Steve, I was so sorry to read of your father's diagnosis. I wrote to you last month (with a different address). I lost my daughter and my father in the same month. My situation was reversed, I lost my daughter to cancer and my father to a heart attack. We expected the loss of our daughter but not my dad. I urge you to use this time to chronicle your dad's and maybe your parents lives. A few years ago my aunt got my grandmother to write some stories of her life in her own hand. My aunt made copies, added pictures and gave it to us all for Christmas. It is one of my most treasured possessions. I didn't have time to do anything like that with my dad and I miss his stories. Whether your dad recovers to live many more years (my fervent hope) or not, the memoires will be a treasure for you and for Heather and for your other siblings. It will also bring you and your dad closer and allow you to share things that you may never have heard before. My grandmother had lost two children and some of her recitations have been helpful to me. I wish she had talked about when my grandfather died so I could use those memories to help my mother. I wish the best for all of you. You deserve only good things!


Name: Kathy Connell
Email:bobandkathy@sat.net
Location: Crockett, Tx USA
Date: Monday, January 12, 1998 at 10:42:25
Comments:
Thankyou so much for providing this opportunity to share. I lost 4 of my children October 18 near Crockett Texas to a Drunk Driver; Laurel age 17 an honor student and a SR.beautiful, sweet, homecoming queen nominee ; Allen age 19, graduated last year, married his high school sweetheart with a new baby and a new job, Lee, age 14,, red headed, full of personality, and Sara, Age 12, very sweet and helpful, smart, assertive. They were my best friends and I miss them more every day. I still have 2 children, Billy age 20 and Emily age 8 months who is red headed too! And a grandson, Taylor. These babies and the many prayers and support of everyone has been what has gotten us thus far. I always wanted to give my kids everything, but there is nothing on this earth that compares to what they have in heaven.The man that caused the accident has yet to contact us with any remorse or apology. I will pray for him and pray for strength to forgive him. I know that alot of people think losing a baby doesn't compare with losing older children. They are so wrong. I can't imagine any point in my childrens life when they were any less precious to me. You and your wife will be in my thoughts and prayers. I welcome Email , it's very helpful for me to talk about this, and if anything I can do to help somebody else try to get through, even if it's just to listen. Sincerely, Kathy Connell


Name: Shirley MacKenzie
Location: Delta, B.C., Canada
Date: Friday, January 9, 1998 at 11:52:58
Comments:
My heart goes out to you and your family, I lost my stepson 3 years ago on the 8th of December 1994. He was a gem of a young man I loved him like my own. I have 1 son of my own and 2 remaining step sons, Tyler was our boy we lost at the age of 14 he was a brave young man, and lives on in our hearts forever, his mother has done a beautiful web page for him. I would love for you and your wife to visit it. http://member.aol.com/wemerjan/tyler.html, God Bless you for your wonderful words of love for your children. You will always be in my heart. Your beautiful little Angels our with our Angel Tyler Ryan MacKenzie. God be with you and you wife.


Name:Pamela
Email:OurJaybird@aol.com
CTDate: Sunday, January 4, 1998 at 23:09:54
Comments:
I truely don't have words to share with you other than my deepest sympathy to you and your family. My family lost a very special little boy on Oct. 01, 1996 at the age of 3 1/2, so I understand the pain and emptiness that goes with it. You have a wonderful site in memory of your children!


Name: Jean Gilbert
Email:jeang@cv.hp.com
Location: Corvallis, ORDate: Thursday, January 1, 1998 at 15:39:52
Comments:
Thank you for your courage and generosity to share your story. My daughter Leela was born on September 23, 1997. Because of hypoplastic left heart, and other complications, she died 13 hours after she was born. I treasure the time I had with her, and I miss her terribly. My heart goes out to you and your family.


Name: Julie
Email:JulieR4057@aol.com
Location: Orlando, FL USA
Date: Wednesday, December 31, 1997 at 10:30:23
Comments:
I am so saddened by your loss. I've not read your entire page, but cannot imagine how you deal with it. I know this is mainly for parents who have lost their children.... I have an 11 year old that I hold tightly when I hear these stories that need to be told. I don't take him for granted. He is our joy. I lost my beloved Grandpa 3 years ago. I don't understand why I can't come to terms with his loss. I still cry, grieve... I can't even bring myself to watch videos or read letters from him. I loved him so much. My father was a horrible, abusive alcoholic... so my grandparents were really like my parents. The loss of him is so unbearable that at times I feel very, very selfish knowing what my Grandma must be going through. I've not really talked out my feelings about him with anyone. The pain is too intense. Why? Why doesn't the pain lessen or go away with time? Is it my fault for holding on so tightly? Oh, dear... I'm afraid I've gotten too personal and taken up too much of your time. Again, I'm so sorry for your loss and hope for brighter days for you.


Name: Pamela Henrickson
Email:aphenrip@gateway.net
Location: Jefferson City, MO USA
Date: Tuesday, December 23, 1997 at 21:23:09
Comments:
Your page has been a great comfort to me for the last several months. We lost our only daughter, Amanda to cancer on August 6, then my dad to a heart attack on August 27. The pain can't be separated. The losses are distinct, but the pain is the same. My dad was my only comfort during my daughter's illness and death. I still remember him taking my husband and myself into his arms the morning she died. I was counting on him to teach me how to live without her and now there is no one. I know I am not the only one to suffer this tragic loss and I try to stay focused but some days I can't. Reading your journal has been very helpful to me. I will miss it if you stop, but I understand that you must do what you must do. We all must do what makes us better. My heart goes out to Heather. We have two boys, older than our daughter. It's been hard for them. I can't imagine how hard for Heather. Give her a special kiss for me.


Name: Sheri Turner
Email:Steve_Turner@Stream.com
Date: Friday, December 19, 1997 at 13:34:51
Comments:
Our son Thomas was born on November 11, 1997 at 8:08am. The pregnancy was completely healthy (so we were told) and uneventful. Thomas was 8 lbs 9 oz. at birth. After birth he was diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome and Pulmonary Vein Stenosis. He died on November 21, 1997 at 3:55pm, after surgery to correct his problem failed. I have never experienced such incredible pain in my life. I know people manage to go on after something like this, but I have no idea how. I am trying to for my husband's sake, but nothing matters to me now that my son is gone. I have been fortunate to have the husband that I have and we have both been fortunate to have the friends we have, but nothing was as important to me as raising my son. Now he's gone and my life is so empty. I'm trying to hang on to my faith in God, but I am angry with Him. Why didn't he save my son? It's of no comfort that Thomas is with God now, I wanted Thomas here with me! I'm also very sad and disappointed with God for letting me go through a seemingly healthy pregnancy, the whole while He knew Thomas was going to die and He never did anything to prepare me.


Name: SHANNON'S FAMILY
Email:CLARK@HAMSFORK.NET
Location: KEMMERER, WY USA
Date: Tuesday, December 16, 1997 at 14:17:24
Comments:
PLEASE VISIT www.dbtinc.com/patt/memoriam6.html and you will see a picture of our beautiful Shannon. Please browse through all of PATT's website. This is a wonderful organization! We will always miss you Shanny! (PATT stands for Parents Against Tired Truckers)


Name: June Hatfield
Email:rhatfiel@ballistic.com
Location: Tyler, Tx USA
Date: Sunday, December 7, 1997 at 12:23:29
Comments:
Re: WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS --- last night while writing about Rob I can not get anything right. I even during the day look at my cat or dog and forget their name for several seconds. MOST IMPORTANT, I forgot to thank you for making this guestbook and for opening your heart and story about your darling girls to us. My heart goes out to you too and will remember you on xmas. There is a family I hope everyone will keep in their thoughts that I overlooked with my anger and grief. They live a few hours above Houston, Tx. They lost ALL FOUR of their children a week or two after we lost rob which would be around the end of sept/oct 97. If anyone knows of them, I'd love to send my sympathy. Thank you again, June


Name: June Hatfield
Email:rhatfiel@ballistic.com
Location: Tyler, Tx USA
Date: Sunday, December 7, 1997 at 12:21:17
Comments:
Re: WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS --- last night while writing about Rob I can not get anything right. I even during the day look at my cat or dog and forget their name for several seconds. MOST IMPORTANT, I forgot to thank you for making this guestbook and for opening your heart and story about your darling girls to us. My heart goes out to you too and will remember you on xmas. There is a family I hope everyone will keep in their thoughts that I overlooked with my anger and grief. They live a few hours above Houston, Tx. They lost ALL FOUR of their children a week or two after we lost rob which would be around the end of sept/oct 97. If anyone knows of them, I'd love to send my sympathy. Thank you again, June


Name: June Hatfield
Email:rhatfield@ballistic.com
Location: Tyler, Tx USA
Date: Saturday, December 6, 1997 at 20:21:00
Comments:
My husband and I lost our second child, Robert Allen Hatfield age 17 in an automobile accident on Sept 20th, 97. Rob just completed school and was planning on being a DEA Agent as he wanted to serve his country and felt the best way was to fight drugs as they weaken our country by domestic violence, child abuse, crime and ect. He had high morals. He believed in looking for the good in everyone because if you don't and only focus on their short comings then they will give up on themselves. I learned so much about compassion and other things from my 17 yr old son than I did my entire life from everyone combined. My 21 yr old son is a paramedic and took the call. That is how he found out and had to notify us. We lost a daughter 18 yrs ago at 1 1/2 yrs old. Heidi would have been 20 Oct 20th. Now we have Sept 20th and Oct 20th to combat before the holidays. Our baby, just turned 16 last month and is now getting his license which terrifies me. I cannot understand with so much bad in our world why our son had to die such a tragic death as a passenger in a car due to someones negligence when he planned on devoting his life to making this a better world. He would go to any lengths to bring a smile or laugh to even a strangers face. It is so hard to think of xmas and the spirit of giving when he gave so much to everyone. My husband and my life has revolved around our children since they were born. We did activities that included them instead of outside socializing. We put so much into making our kids our best friends and knowing them inside out. I can't understand with so much abuse out there why 2 of our 4 wanted and loved children were taken. One thing I am not open to is people telling me it is God's will. I get angry, especially when they have their children and want to ask them would they give their child right now on the spot knowing they will never hear his voice, laughter or see his smile or experience his children. We looked forward to a large family with lots of grandkids. Not no more. I'm in the anger state I guess. june


Name: Roberta Clark
Email:clark@hamsfork.net
Location: Kemmerer, WY USA
Date: Friday, December 5, 1997 at 21:13:04
Comments:
We lost our beautiful daughter, Shannon, last July...And the thought of Christmas without her is very painful and lonely. She died when a semi truck driver fell asleep at the wheel and hit her car head on. She was a brand new bride of only 10 months. She was married in the Bountiful UT temple to her eternal seetheart, Dwayne. She's our pride, our joy, our light...our star in heaven! ( We miss you Shanny) Thank you for validating some of our feelings in the "Beware of Offensive Behavior" section. ( Now I know I am not crazy!)


Name: Roberta Clark
Email:clark@hamsfork.net
Location: Kemmerer,Date: Friday, December 5, 1997 at 21:04:10
Comments:


Name: Leshia M. Nelson
Email:NelsonLe@tfsd.k12.id.us
Location: Burley, ID USA
Date: Thursday, December 4, 1997 at 13:24:00
Comments:
Wow, I am so glad I found this page. I am at school where I teach. I was having a rush of emotional feelings. My little Shelby Rosa would have been three weeks old today. We lost her after a very complicated birth. I am angry. Brian and I lost our first child. What an empty feeling. I know in my heart that God is with us. I know in my heart that God will continue to be with us. Thank you for having this page. All the words and thoughts do help. I needed to read this today. God bless you all!!!!!!!!!


Name: Lora Glass
Email:libasst@aol.com
Location: Niceville, FlDate: Wednesday, November 26, 1997 at 21:50:53
Comments:
On August 31, 1997, we also lost a child. Kevin was 21 and our only child. He was an awesome man of God, and died in an auto accident while on a Christian Concert tour. Though, I too am a Christian, it is my son's faith that is continuing to press me onward in day to day living. Knowing that he is exactly where he prayed to one day be provides me with comfort when grief starts to get the upper hand.


Name: Lisha Smith
Email:lishbronte@aol.com or lsmith@aqmd.gov
Location: Ontario , CA USA
Date: Tuesday, November 25, 1997 at 13:24:17
Comments:
I'm engulfed in an emotional haze. On Nov. 11, 1997, my 15-month old son Jarrell Isaiah Smith died in my arms. He evening before he was snacking on pieces of peeled apple and he choked. He never regained consciousness; his big, beautiful eyes went dark, and his heart finally gave out at 6:57 a.m. on Veteran's Day. God's given me the strength to get through this, but He didn't allow me the strength to save my son. Our home is so quiet. We miss him so much. But we know God is with us. He is with all of us who have suffered so great a loss.


Name: Lisha Smith
Email:lishbronte@aol.com or lsmith@aqmd.gov
Location: Ontario , CA USA
Date: Tuesday, November 25, 1997 at 13:23:18
Comments:
I'm engulfed in an emotional haze. On Nov. 11, 1997, my 15-month old son Jarrell Isaiah Smith died in my arms. He evening before he was snacking on pieces of peeled apple and he choked. He never regained consciousness; his big, beautiful eyes went dark, and his heart finally gave out at 6:57 a.m. on Veteran's Day. God's given me the strength to get through this, but He didn't allow me the strength to save my son. Our home is so quiet. We miss him so much. But we know God is with us. He is with all of us who have suffered so great a loss.


Name: Diane Pilcher
Email:zach@intplsrv.net
Location: Altus, OK USA
Date: Sunday, November 23, 1997 at 11:22:17
Comments:
My 22 month old twin son died 3yrs ago (94). The doctors have no idea why. Then the next year (95) my 6 yr old son died in his sleep and the doctors don't know why he died either. I have a 5 year old son the identical twin of the other, who they say is healthy, but I don't think I'll ever feel that he is okay, no matter what they say.


Name: Charlene
USA
Date: Friday, November 14, 1997 at 18:54:48
Comments:
On October 8, I experienced the greatest loss of my life .. I lost my very best friend, my dear precious Mother. Your words have truly been a comfort to me, especially the "healing of the spirit".. I'm so thankful that God gave you the strength to publish this page that I know has helped so many others. God Bless you. "Weeping endures for the night, but joy cometh in the morning .." Psalms 30:5


Name: Maureen
N.S. Canada
Date: Friday, November 14, 1997 at 16:25:55
Comments:
You must be very strong people. I lost my son Jacob 7 years ago, i still think of him every day. The pain is not as sharp but it's still there. I only had him for a short 10 minutes but I feel I knew him for 100 years.


Name: M. Brimicome
N.S. Canada
Date: Friday, November 14, 1997 at 16:18:21
Comments:
Although it has been 7 years since I lost my son Jacob, I still think of him every day. It does not hurt as sharply but the pain will always be there. It helps wonderfully to be able to connect with other parents who understand. He only lived a short 10 minutes but I knew him as if he lived 100 years. Thanks for your page.


Name: Paula Whittaker
Email:whittpk@texaco.com
Location: Katy, TxDate: Thursday, November 13, 1997 at 12:53:30
Comments:
Everything you wrote was helpfull. My daughter(2 1/2yr) drown this summer. We are still going through all the emotions. I can see this is a continual fight to survive. I have 3 other children so I will be strong for them.


Name:Donna
Email:bingo@almatel.net
Location: Alma, GA USA
Date: Sunday, November 9, 1997 at 14:21:23
Comments:
Great pages.....I too lost Daughter, Naomi, but to cancer. Can't imagine losing 3, (hugs) to you and you hubby. Would love to add you to my pages.


Name:Suzan Marsh-Dunbar
Email:sdunbar@sprintmail.com
Location: Fairborn, OH USA
Date: Saturday, November 8, 1997 at 07:25:43
Comments:
Imagine my surprise, when I picked a random site from the empty arms web ring and landed on you page! I, also have lost a child, Kathleen Ashley Marsh, whom you may read about on my page. I also do genealogy, it seems ironic that you are also Marsh's. Maybe, just maybe, we are related also, which means our daughters would be also....


Name: Kelley Matthews
Email:Kdidmatt@aol.com
Date: Friday, November 7, 1997 at 23:49:33
Comments:
My four year old son Sean died on July 31, 1997 in a drowning accident at a family cabin. I am so confused and in such widely varying states all the time every day. I appreciated your reflections and can see the hard work you have done to survive this.


Email:patterson@triton.net
Location: Grand Haven, MI US
Date: Sunday, November 2, 1997 at 09:27:50
Comments:
On september 30th I got the news from Germany that my oldest daughter committed suicide. She was 19 years old. Do to our financial situation I was not even able to attend her furneral. Your page has been of great comfort to me, it helped me to understand my own emotions much better.


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