Dear mediator:

These guidelines are specially for you that your role will be counsel family relations through mediation. As a matter of fact you have found hard situations you haven´t known what to do. Consequently I hand you this material, so when you start mediation´s sessions you might follow the instructions because I´d like you mediate with much efficiency. Remember that these lines are just a guide, but that´s not all you must Know. As an advice I say you should participate in Mediation´s workshop or be interested of doing some researching handiwork about ADR. That sounds great. Well, ¡Good lucky!

Carlos Zambrano


You must remember:

à Mediation is defined as an act which participate a third impartial party who helps to participants solving their dispute by auto determination.

à The mediation process has the following characteristics:

It´s consensual then you always should try that agreement as a result of auto determination of the parties.

It´s consent. I mean you won´t compel any parties to get an agreement.

It´s informal . Consequently mediation process isn´t bounded by any formality. Furthermore, these guidelines is not necessary for you to apply in your sessions.

It´s confidential, so you must not disclose information obtained through mediation process. If you know a crime committed by anyone, you will immediately communicate to the authorities.

It´s a cooperative negotiation. That´s why you must promote a negotiation or communication in a cooperative form. Consequently I advice you: to separate people from the problem, put your five senses in interests, not positions; invent options for both participants supported by real criteria.; prepare your BATNA(best alternative trading negotiate agreement); and after telling participants their alternative , you can suggest yours. In conclusion, you must try the interest´s parties be satisfactory for themselves.

à Promote mediation in your community through Workshops and/or conferences, where mediation advantages be considered by the parties. It´ll be important to say parties and mediator function in sessions too.


1. If the application for mediation is filed in written or oral by parties, you will make sure participants have enclosed their photocopy of identification card. Opposite to it, you will fill, but suggest them it can be filed pretty soon, otherwise you won´t continue the process. When the mistake is corrected, you just name the family mediator. And if you are as a manager office and working alone , be impartial.

2. If a party in interest doesn´t know the other party´s address home or employment center, you can persuade this person for giving you another address of some relatives. If these relatives don´t know the address either, you will tell party in interest to mediate, but If you get it, you will name a family mediator or be impartial.

3. When the application form doesn´t contain facts well explained, I ask you make party in interest to mediate many questions to clarify or add facts about conflict. So it will provide you confidence to give suggestions to the problem.

4. By any chance you forget to require party in interest´s digital impression, you can do it in mediation sessions, so you must start the process, naming family mediator or being impartial yourself.

5. If both parties apply for mediation when you are mediating, you will tell them to wait for a few minutes. Then when you finished to mediate, you just fill the party´s information on application for mediation. If you´re designated as a family mediator, you will invite them to be present in mediation sessions. But if you can help them at the moment, you will start mediation sessions. Consequently, you will be promoting mediation as a process which save money and time. In this case, you won´t forget to fill on application for mediation.

6. If a fact is communicated by an unknown person or you don´t know parties in conflict or itself, you will visit neighbors´s home to find out information. Then if you get it, you will name a family mediator or yourself act as as mediator being impartial.

7. Admitted the application for mediation and named family mediator or yourself act as a mediator, its time you prepare and hand letters invitation to parties. Don´t forget that mediator is the person who must prepare the letters invitation to them.

8. If the party who is invited to mediate isn´t ubicated in his/her address or employment center, you will conclude the process. Consequently you will write down this fact on records mediation and send it to the Court.


1.- The success of any activity that a person chooses must be prepared with much enthusiasm and dedication daily. Therefore, before you start your sessions make sure have an appropriate site to mediate. Consequently,

Try your office has at least 2 rooms: one of two should be used as a place where you say welcome both parties, and the other one as a room for sessions. It must be ubicated in a private site so people not to interrupt you when you are mediating.

If you only have one room before starting sessions, you will make sure people don´t walk around. But if people do it, you will ask them to leave out or invite for another day.

Put advertisement on walls, windows and doors about mediation and its advantages.

2.- Don´t forget when two persons meet for first time, the next minutes are very important because they will know how much confidence or diffidence you show. Therefore, when you introduce yourself, it must be so kind and friendly as you can. That´s why "it´s so important what to do and how to say".

3.- When you wave parties you must call their names and for relaxing tension you can do a shortly positive commentary, cause of participants are in strong emotions. Then introduce you and say what´s your role in mediation sessions. It means that you won´t be a judge who is not to give a bounding decision, if not a a third neutral party who is going to facilitate communication, so they get an agreement for their own determination without any coercion, suggesting alternatives eventually. You have to explain the process: in a first joint session you will listen each party their point of view about problem, then if it is necessary, you will caucus to know the parties´s interests. So in a final joint session you might get an agreement and write down on a document.

4.- Immediately, you will give advices that parties should follow for mediation success:

· Not to be aggressive neither say vulgar words.

· Not to disclose information obtained through mediation process. This duty belongs to mediator and participants.

· To talk truely and act in good faith

· To tell the mediation advantages

· To keep a cooperative negotiation. Therefore it´s not allowed to coerce between parties.

5.- Before starting sessions, I recommend of having a notebook where you take notes the following:





6.- Start listening to a party who applied mediation and then the other one. Take an "active listening"position It must be well sat down, putting your five senses the parties are saying. If you don´t understand anything, you will ask them, so They will feel good.

7.- If one or both parties are authoritative, belligerent or litigious in that moment, you will admonish them to stop acting their wrong behavior. On the contrary you might suspend or finish sessions.

8.- When the parties´s negotiation have stopped for their closed positions, it´s necessary you caucus to identify interests but having same time for each one of them. We understand interests as wishes, feelings, needs, uneasinesses, fears and worries. And to know it, you must ask questions as Why?, Why don´t you..(a suggestion), or What do you think to obtain with your position?You also can make other questions to find out information about conflict and their interests.

9.- If one of participants has less empowerment than other, cause of being incapable to take decisions or mentally disordered person, you will suspend sessions and restart with a confidence person instead of them.

10.- If one or both parties go into sessions with other third persons, you will accept they participate . Consequently you´ll inform they only can give options which it satisfy both parties, not to disclose information obtained through mediation process and it´s not allowed to interrupt when parties are speaking or to influence in participant´s decision.

11.- In mediation about Support of Children it would be important you establish a minimum amount which parties can negotiate as 50% percent on daily , weekly, monthly pay when father is an employee under a contract of employment. You will do it, if applicant accompany to application for mediation a payment ticket. If the employee is self-employed earn temporally, you will establish as a minimum amount a 50% percent on total salary employee earns monthly. In both situations, I recommend of doing a budget monthly which contains children´s basic needs, just as invent options basing in objective discernments as children´s age, number of children, family charges of father and mother´s economic situation too. According to this, you could help parties establish a just support for child´s interests.

12.- If Father takes a position in sessions for saying that he doesn´t have a job, so he can´t afford children´s needs, you will consider these options: father applies through municipality helping about breakfast and lunch for Children, care of children through Social Security Board in the morning , gift of clothes through catholic church, free medical care in hospitals, get free medicines in hospitals too; taking age and situation of child..

13.- When you caucus children you ask them interesting questions friendly refering their feelings in that moment. Consequently, children are going to share their deepest feeling and thoughts.

14.- You must say as a recommendation in mediation about Guardianship that agreement parties decide is result of best children´s interests.

15.- It´s not allowed parents manipulate children´s opinion who are going to live in other home. Consequently, you could invite parents leave outside sessions. If not child get away from parents what for you can ask his opinion.

16.- If parents don´t assent for guardianship, you will admonish doing it for best children´s interests. If it continue once more time, you will write down on mediation records and send it to the Court.

17. If Guardian breaches Guardianship´s agreement, you will exhort he changes his point of view and go ahead, or look for another guardian who accepts children in his house or send it to the Court.

1. In mediation on Child Custody will be necessary the children´s opinion, but you must care that opinion won´t be manipulated by any of their parents. Consequently you may ask psychologist participation who will examine them, so you can be well informed about real children´s opinion. Thus you might have a discernment at time you suggest your alternative. Before this you must have suspended sessions for restarting in a few minutes, saying at that moment the importance to get an agreement

2. In mediation about Visitation Rights you can have several claims to mediate inside those sessions, so it´s useful that you start mediating with the simplest one and finish with the most difficult one.

3. You must remember in mediation refered to Family Abuse the following:

It´s only negotiable the facts which started conflict. That´s why the goal is to finish abuse. Consequently you must care victim before, during and after sessions, so your due of being impartial is off.

You must examine situation when you are interviewing victim. If victim´s strokes are considered as a crime, you will mention it to authority. On the contrary, you could start mediation sessions.

You can require a psychologist participation what for you two co- mediate sessions. He could help you for identifying interests , the beginning of conflict, invent options which satisfy both parties and suggest alternatives; or start a Family Therapy when sessions have finished. Then he will persuade them(victim and offender) to continue in next days. Thus you will promote peace and love in families.

First, you interview to victim for informing about her rights, mediations´s purposes, just as the alternatives to stop abuse. When you´re refering about mediation´s purposes, you must clarify that it won´t be a reconciliation if not an agreement to put end to abuse, cause of it sounds a confusion with mediation. After you ask her if she wishes starting a dialog with offender. If the answer is negative, you will send it to authority, but if it isn´t, you just will start mediation sessions with offender(and victim too).

If it is necessary, you will promote mechanisms of protection(called to be mentioned to Police Office, offender leave out of marital home, establish a support of children, et cetera)which protect the victim´s security.

You must take care victim participate in sessions freely without any coercion. On the contrary, you should suspend sessions until there are conditions which secure a free decision of victim..


Þ Review your notebook and ask parties if they are okay with terms of agreement parties decided if there´s something parties haven´t included in the same record.

Þ Try redaction be written with a plain language, using the same terms of expressions spoken by parties which they identify with agreement, so it will be performed.

Þ Don´t forget to write down on records the following:

Names and surname, National Identify Document and party´s address. Also third person´s address who have participated in mediation sessions.

Refering agreements about support, custody, Visitation Rights; a term of acknowledge paternity-filiation. Respect Support it´s very important to write down clearly the amount of alimony, time(monthly, semi-monthly, weekly, daily), the person who is debtor to pay and who is going to receive money, where it will be deposited and who will be handled to(date, day , time); when liability is going to start. According to Visitation Rights, you must relate minutely the days and visitation ´s schedule, days walking on Sunday, holidays and party´s day(Christmas, independence day, Thanksgiving, etc). You could also write down a clause of acknowledge which father and/or mother isn´t paying Alimony).

The attendance of Parents and Children for psychological´s examination in Family Abuse mediation.

The sign and printing digital of parties and third ones who have participated in mediation sessions.

If an agreement is taken by parties, but one of them signs on record and the other one doesn´t, you will admonish to change that behavior. On the contrary you will write down on record the partial agreement, so you can send it to Free legal Service Office or Court.

Þ To execute the agreement, you have the following mechanisms:

Warning. "When one of parties breaches this agreement, the other one has the privilege to institute Alimony proceedings", or "When…the other one will communicate to family mediator who will send to the Court".

Admonition. If one of parties communicate you that agreement has failure to perform, you will summons debtor to appear in office. Over there you will require him to give an explanation, cause of he´s not executing the agreement.

To supervise the agreements you have proceedings as visitation for each address, summons to appear in office semi- monthly, helping of third persons and report of a psychologist.


1.- You always must be impartial, so:

You must avoid any touching to parties or third ones for speaking matters about conflict before, during and after sessions. Therefore, it´s only allowed caucus, if it is necessary for you.

Don´t let to influence for one of parties´s feelings. That´s why you can be partial with that party.

If you are a manager office who is working alone, and assume the role of family mediator, you won´t take the position of parties in sessions, just as their interests. Your duty is to facilitate communication between participants, inventing options which satisfied both parties, so they can get a free agreement according their interests.

Before starting sessions you must explain that agreement taken by them will include the best interest of children. It´s important that participants understand children are conscious any agreement reached. If you believe that agreement doesn´t safeguard best interest of Children, your duty will be inform this situation to parties, but telling why it is.

2.- Your due is being confidential which it means:

You won´t disclose information obtained from parties in joint sessions or caucus .

The information obtained in caucus won´t be disclosed in joint sessions unless parties consent this situation.

You´re not allowed to act as a witness in any legal proceedings unless parties consent.

3.- You must go to Workshops about mediation and other types of ADR , so you can mediate efficiently.


1 As a result of the Thesis named "Analysis and suggestions of the Villa El Salvador´s municipality family mediation" to call to the bar of San Martin de Porres´s University. It´s statuted by the final fourth statutory rule of Mediation Law, Children´s Law(rule 48° -C) and Family Abuse Law(rule 30°).