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The Gentle Art In Practice

A quote from a real report.

Suzette, again, thank you for the Gentle Art system.

I conducted a mediation between parents about child support. On a previous occasion dealing with a similar (but not identical) situation, the whole thing fell apart, quickly, with mutual-blaming-about-past-history-which-of-course-can't-be-changed-so-you-can't-do-anything-about-it (usually called a blow-up). That was the before.

This time, I introduced a few Gentle Art principles at the very beginning, a bit about how the brain processes information after the first historical major miscommunication reared up, and then gave the short course in the Gentle Art System before going into the sensitive/highly-stressed issues.

It worked wonderfully well. They were able to work through the sensitive issues -- really listening to each other -- and approach the tough discussions with respect and without blaming or placating or distracting and without vaps. They accomplished a great deal, not only for themselves, but for their children. They achieved far more than my most ambitious goal for the mediation. I am so proud of them. And so thankful that you developed the Gentle Art system, and did all that work and wrote all those wonderful books, etc.

It was great seeing the Gentle Art - absorbed seems like the appropriate word, because they did not struggle in using some of the techniques - especially Miller's Law, vaps, Satir modes and the 3-part message. And neither had heard any of these terms before. They were in a stress situation while absorbing this.

My apologies if I seem to be rambling on, but I am truly excited! This works really well. And not only that, but I enjoyed the process....

A. M.

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Copyright 2000 Stephen R. Marsh

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